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Evil evil evil Latin final over. I bombed it. Do I care? Not so much. I am tired and I still have tequilla churning in my stomach, though I'm pretty sure I've peed too many times for there still to be any in my system. Oh well, I am DONE for three glorious weeks before French starts. I can deal. Amazingly, I got an A- out of Rosemary. I'm a little freaked out about it. NO other grades in as of yet, but I'm not worried, again, because I don't care. Not caring is the best ever... and I'm not even on Zoloft this time. Ugh... have to open the museum in about an hour and a half. I think I may go over to the health food store on the ped mall and purchase some breakfast that may not make me sick.
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Well, the hubby denies all allegations of hamster neglect. Either he forgot he opened the cage, he is lying, or I have a houdini hamster. I am still a bit shaky after the hamster escapade experience, though not so much so as when my turtle escaped... that was really scary. Anyway, I have a Greek final in an hour and I'm debating as to how to occupy my time until then. I could study, but why? I really don't care that much, and no matter what I do I know I'm probably going to get a B anyway. I cou.d go talk to Ketterer about my thesis, but he probably hasn't gotten around to reading it yet. Hmmm... and when the exam is over I have to go home and write my six page "essay" for the socialist psycho-bitch who teaches German history (when she's not lecturing on Bush's politics.) On the bright side, I am getting $10 out of her for the cost of printing all those notes for people this semester. I hope the department doesn't refund her.
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I got those two papers done this morning, just in time. And I've made a little headway on the thesis. I went back and fixed a few little titchy stylistic things. Now I have to go back and back a few things up. The trouble is remembering where I got the idea in the first place. I have it all somewhere--just have to find it. I was going to have to do mega-research on the appearance of God in film on google tonight, but while doing it this afternoon, I happened to run across a book by two University of Arizona professors who back up the conclusions that I came to as a random observer of popular trends. So we'll be going with that. Hopefully, I'll have enough down time at the kiosk tonight to get that taken care of. I'll get up tomorrow and do my Greek, and the rest of the day will be relatively carefree. Tehen the Old Capitol opens up again on Saturday and I'll be helping with crowd control and such all day. But I love that kind of chaos. I won't have to give full tours becasue we'll have someone stationed in every room to explain the history because there will be too many people to run regular tours.

To-do List

May. 3rd, 2006 10:52 pm
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1. write two 3-4 page papers and turn in by 10:30 tomorrow
2. Finish final draft of thesis and turn in for grading on Friday
3. do vocab for three pages of Xenophon for Friday
4. come up with my tour spiel and cheat-book by Saturday
5. study for finals, including writing a 6-page final essay
6. find time to sleep

I am a busy person... but that's okay. Because after next week I get some nice time off from academia for a month, and then on to French... and a long reading list for grad school (but I get to read some of it in English). I'll be so glad for this bitch of an undergrad to be over so I can get on with things. And, at this point, I honestly don't care where it is going to get me professionally afterward, I just want the damn PhD. Once I satisfy my academic appetite, I can perfectly happily do nothing at all for the rest of my life.

I need this. I need to know that I'm not going to turn out like the rest of my family. I know, its terrible, but I really feel like I no longer have anything in common with my family. A tiny part of me wonders about the advisability of exposing my children to these people. They wanted something better for me than what they had, and now that I'm geting it, they are utterly befuddled. I begin to feel that everytime I go home for a visit, I lose brain cells. I sit there for several hours and watch American Idol with them. Then I begin to say things like "I'll tell you what" and generally act like a hick. Last night my sister punched me and dared me to try to do anything about it, so I sprained her finger for her. That's not me. I don't usually go all Jerry Springer at people. How hickish is my family? My mother wants to have a potluck picnic in the park to celebrate our graduation nexdt weekend. You know, most people who have first-generation college grads for children get a little more excited about it.

Granted, my parents have it rough right now. Dad had to apply for disability becasue no one will hire him becasue he has epilepsy now. I hate to tell him, but he probably won't get it. The women in Burlington who makes those decisions is a real bitch and she hardly grants it to anybody. She's denied disability to lupus patients who can barely walk. Nice lady.

Anyway, I don't want to end the evening on such a negative note, but I'm too tired to think of anything cheerful. My happy hamster mood indicator shall have to suffice.
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I am so fucking pissed I can't even see straight. My German history professor diverted from the syllabus and gave a lecture on "Germany in the Age of 9/11" which basically consisted of a long string of criticisms of the Bush administration's foreign policy occasionally punctuated with the qualifier "Most germans thought...". and half of what she said was totally fucked up. Example: most Germans thought that if Americans really believed a.) that the war would be over quickly, b.) that restructuring the government would be easy and without opposition, and c.) that few civilians would get hurt, that those Americans were stupid." I'm sorry, when did we make those claims? I seem to remember Bush saying that we wouldn't be out of Iraq any time during his presidency, that work would go on in Iraq long after he was out of office, and that it would take a lot of hard work and would cost some livs in the process.
Then she moves on to talk about the 'selfish" nature of American foreign aid, saying that we only gave aid so that we could force third world countries to buy our expensive products, and that "Germans felt" that the real way to prevent international problems was to eliminate economic misery so that nobody would want to go to war and everybody would be happy. Socialist drivel, pure and simple. Finally, she expressed the opinion that, since the US was the world's only super power, we had upset the balance of power, and when that kind of thing happens, the sole power is likely to run amok. She said, Americans either had to voluntarily restain themselves, or else Europe had to become strong and united so that they could "check" the US if it should become necessary. That Americans didn't know what war was really like becasue tey hadn't fought one ontheir own soil in so long. They didn't know what it was like to be bombed, the Germans did.
Excuse me. For one, the Germans were the perpetrators, hence they were bombed. In the second place, we were putting our lives on the line to rescue them from a dictator. We then pulled them out of the depression and gave them demoracy. Don't like us fighting foreign wars? Then don't ask for our help next time you start one. There's a reason we don't have domestic wars--we know what the fuck we are doing.
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Watching the movie "Cathedral" in Berman's class. Horrible, horrible, movie, even for an educational film.
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Paper for Berman is finished. It's a piece of shit. It is terribly disorganized, I make claims that I don't back up, and I'm not even sure that it's what it is tupposed to be. And you know what? I don't give a fuck. I'm not sure how I could possbily care less... unless I were on some awesome sedatives. i should get some of those... I'm pretty sure I can track down some Xanax, and that would be sweet.
Turns out my little sister is graduating high school on Memorial weekend... at 3pm no less, so I won't be there. I already asked for the afternoon before off for a family reunion, so I can't possibly ask for all of sunday off too. Oh well, its just high school, and I doubt she cares, anyway. What I care about is that my hubby and I are finally graduating, which is awesome. ANd now I am tired and I am going to bed. Horace shall have to wait until tomorrow.
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I want to go back to bed... but first I have to write a paper for Berman for tomorrow. But I lost my syllabus and I don't know how long it is supposed to be... I think she said 1000-1200 words or something. Well, she's going to get four pages or so and she will like it, because I am not staying up all night writing a paper I don't have time to write for a class that I don't care about and don't need to graduate. I have been stalling for hours on facebook and compulsively checking my e-mail. Now I guess I actually have to write the damn thing.
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I have the next three days off. Thant rocks out. And I don't have to do the Classics portfolio. This also rocks out. What totally doesn't rock is that I'm still witing for special permission to take french for reading this summer, because stupid ISIS won't let undergrads register for grad-level classes. I went to the French department on Friday to try to get permission, but (at 11:30, no less) their DEO was already gone for the day. I've been anxiously awaiting her return e-mail all weekend, to no avail. Well, its only 10:00 on Monday, so I guess I shouldn't be worried yet, but I really need this class. Otherwise, to get work study for the new jobm I have to take something lame that I don't even need. That would blow. And now, for some Xenophon. God, I can't wait for this semester to be over.
You spend all of high school waiting for it to be over so you can go to college, only to realize when you get to college that undergrad is quickly becoming the new high school. And then you wait to get out of there so you can go to grad school and finally get started doing what you want to do. Well, I'm almost there. Here's hoping grad school doesn't become the new undergrad... but even if it does, at least I'm getting paid (and insured!) to do it. Insurance is good (have I said that before?) because then I can afford to have cute little red-headed, chubby-cheeked, brown-eyed little children. Seriously, ask me if you can see me and David's baby pictures. You put them together and our kids are going to be like those nauseatingly cute and precocious children on the Welch's grape juice commercials. It's going to be awesome. And when I get fed up with (or nauseated by) the undergrads I'm going to be teaching, I can just blame it on the damn hormones.
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So tired... stayed up past midnight working on the thesis. I meant to work on it at work in the kiosk last night, but I ended up in the store instead and I actually had to work. Not the case tonight. I look forward to getting some homework done (maybe). In other random news... cramps suck, Coke in glass bottles rocks my world, and I found a great super-rich brownie recipie (think normal brownie batter, then saturate it with mini chocolate chips.
More inportanly, though< I decided not to graduate in May. Instead, I'm staying on for the summer so I can get work study and work part time at the Old Capitol Museum as a tour guide. And I can take French for Reading, which is also a good idea- if I get a B+, I get out of the translation exam. I am totally looking forward to a summer of museum, cookies, and (less happily) the Minnesota CNES reading list. Luckily, I am allowed to read some selections in English. I will probably leave those for last, except Petronius, who is awesome and whom I am now reading. And that's about it.
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So I got a new job. Yes, another one. I'm going to give tours at the Old Capitol when it reopens, which I think is both a cool job and a good resume builder if I ever want to go for a museum job. The only thing is, unless I put off graduation until August and take a summer course so I can get more work study, I only get to keep the job through May 20. So I think I'm going to go ahead and do that so I can take French for reading. This way, I'll be building my resume AND getting my french requirement out ofthe way for grad school (if the course transfers and I get a B or better in it,I don't have to take the French translation exam at Minnesota!). And the other new job (cookies at the mall) is also great. I sit there for hours at the kiosk and do my homework, only occasionally waiting on customers. And they are thinking of training me to close the store and count money and all that good stuff, because I am neither untrustworthy nor an idiot (which they tell me some others have been). Whatever.
I finally feel like my life is going somewhere... even if somewhere means Minnesota. I'll finally be able to get on with what I really want to study. I'll have insurance, and liveable income, and a puppy. I can start my family, David can get a real job, and we can finally move on from our college-student-subsistence-lifestyle on to something (hopefully) better. I'm feeling pretty good.
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Yawn. That said, I think I'm ready to go back to bed now. Seriously. And then I'll wake up in June when this is all over. When the thesis is done, I've graduated, and all that good stuff. The thesis is, apparently "coming along nicely." So I guess that's good. What I'd really like to do with it at this point is burn all my books/notes/drafts and permanently remove all evidence from my hard drive. I'm told that feeling means that it's almost done. I hope so: I have all of my own ideas laid out. All I have left to do is insert a discussion of Aeschylus' and Sophocles' treatments of women (for comparison's sake), find some anthropological/sociological theories on the genesis of polytheistic religions,and insert among my ideas appropriate references to the play, and incorporate what knowledge we have of the original treatment of the myth. Which is actually less work than it sounds like. And then I'll be done. Whew.
Then I can graduate, go to Minnesota, start my REAL education (undergrad is just a warm-up for the main event), buy a puppy, raise cute babies and eventually get a REAL job. A job that allows me to use my mountain of ammassed knowledge and doesn't require a name tag. That would be sweet.


Apr. 3rd, 2006 08:46 pm
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Sinus headache from hell. Seriously. I hate allergies. I hate sinuses. I hate honors theses. I love chocolate... I wish I loved coffee... then I could stay awake and concentrate through this allergy/sinus headache to write the hated thesis. I have about ten to fifteen pages to go on it--oh, and the research. Up until now, everything I have written has been an explanation of my own work and an analysis of the original play. Now I'm actually having to read (parts of) the pile of books in my bedroom. Bummer.
And teh grad school admissions nightmare continues. I'm making a final decision on Friday, and I'm pretty sure that decision is going to be for Minnesota- full funding, no tuition to pay, $10 a month insurance... or I could go to UCSB with nothing. Hmmm... tough decision.
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The following drivel was just sent to the ENITIRE friggin' history department from our psycho-liberal undergrad studies director, carefully phrased as a "career opportunity:


Grassroots Campaigns, Inc.

Grassroots Campaigns is a progressive political consulting firm, specializing in field organizing, strategy, and fundraising for progressive organizations, candidates and campaigns. We are hiring committed activists to win back Congress in '06 and the Presidency in '08.

A recruiter from Grassroots Campaigns will be on campus Tues. Feb 28th Wed. March 1st to meet with interested students. 

Contact Robert Peek
rpeek@grassrootscampaigns.com for more information or to set-up an interview.

In the most recent election cycle, Grassroots Campaigns worked in partnership with the Democratic National Committee to run grassroots fundraising efforts in 50 cities nationwide from April-November 2004. We also ran a precinct-level Get-Out-The-Vote (GOTV) operation in collaboration with MoveOn PAC, targeting occasional Democratic voters in 10,000 key precincts across 17 swing states.

These efforts require a variety of capable individuals. Presently, we are seeking qualified applicants for Canvass Director and Field Organizer positions. Canvass Directors manage one of up to 30 grassroots field offices, with bottom-line responsibility for all local operations.  Most canvass offices will reach 50,000 households, identify 8,000 new donors and raise $250,000. Field Organizers work in off election years to recruit, train and mange volunteers to pressure Congress on key policy issues concerning foreign policy, the environment, federal court appointments and social security. Closer to Election Day, staff will focus efforts on electoral strategies including voter registration, education, identification and get-out-the-vote strategies.  We are looking for strong candidates who are interested in winning back Congress in 2006 by developing volunteer networks to organize and enable social change in the long-term. 

If you are interested in a position or would like more information, please contact Robert Peek at
rpeek@grassrootscampaigns.com or call at 505-417-7477.

Grassroots Campaigns past and current clients include: MoveOnPAC, Amnesty International, the Democratic National Committee, Human Rights Campaign, People for the American Way, Working America, Defenders of Wildlife, Environmental Action, and Environmental Action PAC.
 To which I replied (and sent a blind copy to Professor Kerber):

No disrespect intended, and whether it presents a career opportunity or not, I find it somewhat inappropriate that you are using the department e-mail list to distribute information on Grassroots Campaigns, Inc..  I am here at Iowa to receive an education in liberal arts, not liberal politics.  Please exclude me from previous such mailings in the future.

I mean, what the hell?  The departmental mailing list is not intended to be used for ramming liberal drivel down the throats of the students.  I am really sick of this place.  Hardly any professor I've ever had has refrained from making politically charged (need I really say in which direction?) statements in class.  It's friggin' irritating.  I'm polite about it.  I don't raise a fuss.  But you can bet your ass that if a conservative professor did anything like this, there would be an uproar.
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Well, my Valentine's Day was fantastic. I got roses, and Bochner chocolates, and homemade spaghetti and meatballs, and Power House chocolate cake!!!! We also had Shakespeare tickets, but we...er... decided to stay in. In other news, I have two exams today. One in my German history class, which I just took, and my next on in Latin at 2:30. But I have become very philosophical about this whole business. You see, I only need 2 classes out of my 5 to graduate- and these are history classes. But I'm not going to grad school for history, so these are irrelevant as long as I pass. And my Classics classes are not needed to graduate, only for practice, so they don't really signify, either. Since I don't see myself getting anything lower than a B in any of these classes, provided that I attend class, remain conscious, and make some moderate effort to do the work, I can quit busting my ass on everything, except for my thesis, which I need. Now the only problem that can come up is if one of my grad schools admits be provisionally upon A's in Greek and Latin or some psychotically high final semester GPA. But if my current academic record of 3.70 cumulative/3.98 major GPA isn't good enough for them, they can fuck off, because I don't want to go anywhere that anal. That's my rationalization, and i'm sticking to it. And taking a nap.
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Well, I was having a good day... until Rosemary the sarcastic bitch had to go and kill my post-grad-school-acceptance buzz. We all have our bad days, right? Well everyday I spend in that class my performance gets worse. I do understand the material- at home. But with the grammar Nazi staring me in the face while I'm trying to translate and making sarcastic comments every time I screw up, I totally blank on things I know I know. Every time I stumble on a point of grammar, she says something like, "Those of you who are planning to go to grad school might do well to look at Smyth #..." Granted, all five us are going on to grad school, but my fuck-ups are the only ones that provoke this particular response. Today, I think she went too far. I had forgotten to look up two vocabulary words and was stumbling over a construction I'd never seen before, and her response was, "And you just got into Santa Barbara?" I wasn't sure whether I wanted to cry, scream, or punch something, so I just sat there... and ran out of the room the moment class was over. I'm used to her talking down to me, she's never shown any of us anything but contempt. But singling me (and Katie, too, for that matter) out for verbal abuse is going beyond a lack of professionalism, it's just fucking rude.

On a higher note, David and I are eating out at a classy joint tonight and seeing Shakespeare on Valentine's Day. I need to try to focus on the positive, here.
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Oh, all the things I have yet to do.

  • Catch up on reading for Berman's class.
  • Outline the second half of my thesis
  • Catch up on Greek and study fro quiz tomorrow.

And isn't it strange how you get ahead in some things in order to avoid the ones you don't want to deal with.  For example, I'm a week ahead on my German history reading, I just e-mailed Rob my thesis bibliography, and bought and wrapped David's V-day present.  All while avoiding doing the things on the list above.  /me sighs.

What say I just forget about the class work and hope none of my grad schools accept me on the condition of my last semester GPA, huh?  Okay, probably a very bad idea, but I'm getting kind of burnt out on this whole undergrad thing.  I want to graduate already.  Ane go to grad school while my husband finally gets a job that will actually support us.  Wouldn't that be great?  Last year we only made about sixteen grand.  I don't know how we managed, especially with the wedding.  Oh, wait.  Yeah, that's how I racked up 8 grand in credit.  /me sighs again. 

Right now I could drop out in a heartbeat in exchange for financial security: a house with a washer/dryer/dishwasher, health insurance, and a car.  But right now I'm a dirt poor, apartment-dwelling, uninsured pedestrian.  And I'm suddenly very depressed.  Oh well.  tomorrow is my hubby's birthday and we are going out to eat somewhere fabulous that we can't afford.  Since we can't afford anything, but I figure that as long as we're racking up the credit card debt we might as well get one really good meal out of it.

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What a weird day.  not bad or anything, but now that its over it strikes me as strange.  To recap:

  1. Professor Berman knows nothing about Roman history.  I had to explain the tetrarchy to her after class because she totally messed it up when she tried to teach it.
  2. I hate my German history class.  I volunteered to be the notetaker for those with disabilities, late adds, or extended absences, thinking that it would be easy because I could e-mail attachments right from my laptop in two seconds.  No.  Professor Heineman doesn't want electronic copies of the notes for the entire semester floating around the internet for fear they will come into the hands of people who just don't want to come to class/pay attention.  So now I have to give people paper copies.  She says she can find a way to reimburse me through office funds, but how friggin' stupid is it for me to keep track of the 5 cents a page it costs me on my print quota and turn it in to her to get a whopping 5 dollar check from the history department in May?  Pretty damn stupid, and not worth the trouble, so i guess I'm doing this pro bono.
  3. I still love Z'Marik, even though they didin't hire me.  Num... noodles
  4. The music building doesn't have Wi-Fi.  Neither does North Hall.  Suck.
  5. I got a full body massage and salt wrap for my birthday.  yay!
  6. Professor Nani talked for an hour about meter today, so we only did 5 lines of evil evil evil Horace today.
  7. I love bagels.  And my hubby, the slicer of bagels.
  8. I hate hate hate Xenophon.  Only Xenophon can make the account of a bloody war with burning ships and naval maneuvers and whatnot and make it about as fun to read as the classified ads.
  9. I only have until March 1 to finish my GIS course.  Augh!!!
  10. I am seriously considering learning to play the bagpipes.  My only expense would be a $70 practice chanter.
  11. My little toes went free today after 3 months of confinement.  Yay for flip flops in February!

Random observations aside, I am strange, I am huingry and I have homework to do, so I gotta go.

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Well, I figured out the formatting problem in word. Finally. But I still have to work on my thesis and look up Greek vocab... and Housewives starts in 13 minutes. Oh well, I'm going to be up late waiting up for David anyway. I can thesisisize(is that a word) tonight and Perseus tomorrow. But I did type up all my notes and get most of my music transferred onto my laptop, so I'm content. I'm going to have milk and scones and watch Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Or, better yet, Mommy gave me a bottle of Captain Morgan for my birthday... but thesis + alchohol = probably a bad idea. Oh well, another day.


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