2. Finish final draft of thesis and turn in for grading on Friday
3. do vocab for three pages of Xenophon for Friday
4. come up with my tour spiel and cheat-book by Saturday
5. study for finals, including writing a 6-page final essay
6. find time to sleep
I am a busy person... but that's okay. Because after next week I get some nice time off from academia for a month, and then on to French... and a long reading list for grad school (but I get to read some of it in English). I'll be so glad for this bitch of an undergrad to be over so I can get on with things. And, at this point, I honestly don't care where it is going to get me professionally afterward, I just want the damn PhD. Once I satisfy my academic appetite, I can perfectly happily do nothing at all for the rest of my life.
I need this. I need to know that I'm not going to turn out like the rest of my family. I know, its terrible, but I really feel like I no longer have anything in common with my family. A tiny part of me wonders about the advisability of exposing my children to these people. They wanted something better for me than what they had, and now that I'm geting it, they are utterly befuddled. I begin to feel that everytime I go home for a visit, I lose brain cells. I sit there for several hours and watch American Idol with them. Then I begin to say things like "I'll tell you what" and generally act like a hick. Last night my sister punched me and dared me to try to do anything about it, so I sprained her finger for her. That's not me. I don't usually go all Jerry Springer at people. How hickish is my family? My mother wants to have a potluck picnic in the park to celebrate our graduation nexdt weekend. You know, most people who have first-generation college grads for children get a little more excited about it.
Granted, my parents have it rough right now. Dad had to apply for disability becasue no one will hire him becasue he has epilepsy now. I hate to tell him, but he probably won't get it. The women in Burlington who makes those decisions is a real bitch and she hardly grants it to anybody. She's denied disability to lupus patients who can barely walk. Nice lady.
Anyway, I don't want to end the evening on such a negative note, but I'm too tired to think of anything cheerful. My happy hamster mood indicator shall have to suffice.
Then she moves on to talk about the 'selfish" nature of American foreign aid, saying that we only gave aid so that we could force third world countries to buy our expensive products, and that "Germans felt" that the real way to prevent international problems was to eliminate economic misery so that nobody would want to go to war and everybody would be happy. Socialist drivel, pure and simple. Finally, she expressed the opinion that, since the US was the world's only super power, we had upset the balance of power, and when that kind of thing happens, the sole power is likely to run amok. She said, Americans either had to voluntarily restain themselves, or else Europe had to become strong and united so that they could "check" the US if it should become necessary. That Americans didn't know what war was really like becasue tey hadn't fought one ontheir own soil in so long. They didn't know what it was like to be bombed, the Germans did.
Excuse me. For one, the Germans were the perpetrators, hence they were bombed. In the second place, we were putting our lives on the line to rescue them from a dictator. We then pulled them out of the depression and gave them demoracy. Don't like us fighting foreign wars? Then don't ask for our help next time you start one. There's a reason we don't have domestic wars--we know what the fuck we are doing.
Turns out my little sister is graduating high school on Memorial weekend... at 3pm no less, so I won't be there. I already asked for the afternoon before off for a family reunion, so I can't possibly ask for all of sunday off too. Oh well, its just high school, and I doubt she cares, anyway. What I care about is that my hubby and I are finally graduating, which is awesome. ANd now I am tired and I am going to bed. Horace shall have to wait until tomorrow.
You spend all of high school waiting for it to be over so you can go to college, only to realize when you get to college that undergrad is quickly becoming the new high school. And then you wait to get out of there so you can go to grad school and finally get started doing what you want to do. Well, I'm almost there. Here's hoping grad school doesn't become the new undergrad... but even if it does, at least I'm getting paid (and insured!) to do it. Insurance is good (have I said that before?) because then I can afford to have cute little red-headed, chubby-cheeked, brown-eyed little children. Seriously, ask me if you can see me and David's baby pictures. You put them together and our kids are going to be like those nauseatingly cute and precocious children on the Welch's grape juice commercials. It's going to be awesome. And when I get fed up with (or nauseated by) the undergrads I'm going to be teaching, I can just blame it on the damn hormones.
More inportanly, though< I decided not to graduate in May. Instead, I'm staying on for the summer so I can get work study and work part time at the Old Capitol Museum as a tour guide. And I can take French for Reading, which is also a good idea- if I get a B+, I get out of the translation exam. I am totally looking forward to a summer of museum, cookies, and (less happily) the Minnesota CNES reading list. Luckily, I am allowed to read some selections in English. I will probably leave those for last, except Petronius, who is awesome and whom I am now reading. And that's about it.
I finally feel like my life is going somewhere... even if somewhere means Minnesota. I'll finally be able to get on with what I really want to study. I'll have insurance, and liveable income, and a puppy. I can start my family, David can get a real job, and we can finally move on from our college-student-subsistence-lifestyle on to something (hopefully) better. I'm feeling pretty good.
Then I can graduate, go to Minnesota, start my REAL education (undergrad is just a warm-up for the main event), buy a puppy, raise cute babies and eventually get a REAL job. A job that allows me to use my mountain of ammassed knowledge and doesn't require a name tag. That would be sweet.
And teh grad school admissions nightmare continues. I'm making a final decision on Friday, and I'm pretty sure that decision is going to be for Minnesota- full funding, no tuition to pay, $10 a month insurance... or I could go to UCSB with nothing. Hmmm... tough decision.
The following drivel was just sent to the ENITIRE friggin' history department from our psycho-liberal undergrad studies director, carefully phrased as a "career opportunity:
JOBS TO BUILD A PROGRESSIVE MAJORITY AND WIN BACK CONGRESS IN 2006
Grassroots Campaigns, Inc.
Grassroots Campaigns is a progressive political consulting firm, specializing in field organizing, strategy, and fundraising for progressive organizations, candidates and campaigns. We are hiring committed activists to win back Congress in '06 and the Presidency in '08.
A recruiter from Grassroots Campaigns will be on campus Tues. Feb 28th Wed. March 1st to meet with interested students.
Contact Robert Peek email@example.com for more information or to set-up an interview.
In the most recent election cycle, Grassroots Campaigns worked in partnership with the Democratic National Committee to run grassroots fundraising efforts in 50 cities nationwide from April-November 2004. We also ran a precinct-level Get-Out-The-Vote (GOTV) operation in collaboration with MoveOn PAC, targeting occasional Democratic voters in 10,000 key precincts across 17 swing states.
These efforts require a variety of capable individuals. Presently, we are seeking qualified applicants for Canvass Director and Field Organizer positions. Canvass Directors manage one of up to 30 grassroots field offices, with bottom-line responsibility for all local operations. Most canvass offices will reach 50,000 households, identify 8,000 new donors and raise $250,000. Field Organizers work in off election years to recruit, train and mange volunteers to pressure Congress on key policy issues concerning foreign policy, the environment, federal court appointments and social security. Closer to Election Day, staff will focus efforts on electoral strategies including voter registration, education, identification and get-out-the-vote strategies. We are looking for strong candidates who are interested in winning back Congress in 2006 by developing volunteer networks to organize and enable social change in the long-term.
If you are interested in a position or would like more information, please contact Robert Peek at firstname.lastname@example.org or call at 505-417-7477.
Grassroots Campaigns past and current clients include: MoveOnPAC, Amnesty International, the Democratic National Committee, Human Rights Campaign, People for the American Way, Working America, Defenders of Wildlife, Environmental Action, and Environmental Action PAC.
To which I replied (and sent a blind copy to Professor Kerber):
I mean, what the hell? The departmental mailing list is not intended to be used for ramming liberal drivel down the throats of the students. I am really sick of this place. Hardly any professor I've ever had has refrained from making politically charged (need I really say in which direction?) statements in class. It's friggin' irritating. I'm polite about it. I don't raise a fuss. But you can bet your ass that if a conservative professor did anything like this, there would be an uproar.
On a higher note, David and I are eating out at a classy joint tonight and seeing Shakespeare on Valentine's Day. I need to try to focus on the positive, here.
Oh, all the things I have yet to do.
- Catch up on reading for Berman's class.
- Outline the second half of my thesis
- Catch up on Greek and study fro quiz tomorrow.
And isn't it strange how you get ahead in some things in order to avoid the ones you don't want to deal with. For example, I'm a week ahead on my German history reading, I just e-mailed Rob my thesis bibliography, and bought and wrapped David's V-day present. All while avoiding doing the things on the list above. /me sighs.
What say I just forget about the class work and hope none of my grad schools accept me on the condition of my last semester GPA, huh? Okay, probably a very bad idea, but I'm getting kind of burnt out on this whole undergrad thing. I want to graduate already. Ane go to grad school while my husband finally gets a job that will actually support us. Wouldn't that be great? Last year we only made about sixteen grand. I don't know how we managed, especially with the wedding. Oh, wait. Yeah, that's how I racked up 8 grand in credit. /me sighs again.
Right now I could drop out in a heartbeat in exchange for financial security: a house with a washer/dryer/dishwasher, health insurance, and a car. But right now I'm a dirt poor, apartment-dwelling, uninsured pedestrian. And I'm suddenly very depressed. Oh well. tomorrow is my hubby's birthday and we are going out to eat somewhere fabulous that we can't afford. Since we can't afford anything, but I figure that as long as we're racking up the credit card debt we might as well get one really good meal out of it.
What a weird day. not bad or anything, but now that its over it strikes me as strange. To recap:
- Professor Berman knows nothing about Roman history. I had to explain the tetrarchy to her after class because she totally messed it up when she tried to teach it.
- I hate my German history class. I volunteered to be the notetaker for those with disabilities, late adds, or extended absences, thinking that it would be easy because I could e-mail attachments right from my laptop in two seconds. No. Professor Heineman doesn't want electronic copies of the notes for the entire semester floating around the internet for fear they will come into the hands of people who just don't want to come to class/pay attention. So now I have to give people paper copies. She says she can find a way to reimburse me through office funds, but how friggin' stupid is it for me to keep track of the 5 cents a page it costs me on my print quota and turn it in to her to get a whopping 5 dollar check from the history department in May? Pretty damn stupid, and not worth the trouble, so i guess I'm doing this pro bono.
- I still love Z'Marik, even though they didin't hire me. Num... noodles
- The music building doesn't have Wi-Fi. Neither does North Hall. Suck.
- I got a full body massage and salt wrap for my birthday. yay!
- Professor Nani talked for an hour about meter today, so we only did 5 lines of evil evil evil Horace today.
- I love bagels. And my hubby, the slicer of bagels.
- I hate hate hate Xenophon. Only Xenophon can make the account of a bloody war with burning ships and naval maneuvers and whatnot and make it about as fun to read as the classified ads.
- I only have until March 1 to finish my GIS course. Augh!!!
- I am seriously considering learning to play the bagpipes. My only expense would be a $70 practice chanter.
- My little toes went free today after 3 months of confinement. Yay for flip flops in February!
Random observations aside, I am strange, I am huingry and I have homework to do, so I gotta go.